What is Compassion Coaching?

Compassion Coaching

Compassion coaching can improve relationships, and it helps people deal with difficult emotions or achieve career goals. It motivates people differently than compliance coaching does.

So What Is Compassion Coaching, Really?

Compassion coaching triggers positive nerve reactions within the body instead of negative ones, and it highlights hopes, dreams and potential. It may produce change more effectively than only focusing on a person’s fears, weaknesses, shortcomings and expectations.

Although both positive and negative reinforcement do work, people may make more progress if they receive five times more of the reinforcement that triggers a positive emotional attractor (PEA) than the negative emotional attractor (NEA). Compassion coaching does typically trigger the PEA instead of the NEA attractors.

Positive reinforcement helps people believe in themselves, which they usually need before they can take the action normally required by the negative nerve attractor.

How Can I Improve My Compassion Skills?

Before you try to coach other people, show more compassion to yourself. This requires that you turn off that “harsh inner critic” and accept yourself for who you are flaws and all. It also may call for self-forgiveness, which means that you need to let go of past mistakes.

Once you treat yourself with more kindness, it gives you the confidence you need to show compassion to other people instead of coming down on them too hard when they turn to you for help.

Top 4 Approaches to Practice

Preparing for compassion coaching starts when you make self-care a priority. After you learn how to take care of you every day, you can shift toward inspiring others to make positive changes in their lives.

As you lay the groundwork of self-care, keep in mind that studying to become a compassion coach may help you understand your own pain but doesn’t take the place of healing yourself first.

  1. Heal Yourself First

    At the innermost core of your being, you probably want to help people, not cause them more pain. However, unresolved hurt caused by traumatic events sometimes triggers reactions that inflict unintentional emotional damage on others.

    Perhaps experience some compassion coaching for yourself before you take on your own clients. If already employed in a helping profession, such as that of a teacher, nurse or counselor, or manager, seek outside help as soon as possible. If you do, it will improve your chances of success with people who look up to you.

  2. Seek Continued Support

    You never know what circumstances you will face in the future even if you “feel fine” now. If you deal with your own crisis moments when they occur as soon as possible, you can continue to provide compassion to others. As you seek regular support from your circle of influence, you will still have it to offer to both new and returning clients.

  3. Become Others Focused

    To boost your self-confidence as a compassion coach, become others-focused. Pay attention to what you see around you, whether it means staying present when with your children or noticing strangers in a crisis on the street. In a professional setting, listen to people’s stories and ask questions in ways that show them you care and help them solve their own problems.

    You can also draw from your experiences to empathize with clients, but make sure you stay focused on them and don’t make it all about you. When listening to others, make sure you also eliminate all distractions, such as calls, texts, social media or unannounced visitors. Likewise, don’t try to perform household or work tasks during these sessions.

  4. Point Out The Positive

    Effective compassion coaching focuses on the positive attributes of others. This especially helps when counseling someone who may feel hopeless. In the process of shifting their negative thinking to positive thinking, you can encourage them by helping them make a list of small steps they can take right now to improve their lives even if they can’t achieve all their goals overnight.

    Remember, developing compassion coaching skills will take time. You will become better at showing people you care and acting on your empathy by making time just for them.